Forgive Me
by Little Green Bird
Summary: A true testament of love is tested when a drunken mistake leads to infidelity and threatens a family. LP. OneShot.


**Author's Note:**

No, I am not abandoning _Braille. _Yes, I am alive but incredibly embarrassed. Here's the thing about writer's block: It sucks. No, really, it does! It's been 2 years now since I've updated _Braille _and I assure you all that I have written chapter 11...and then deleted it. It's been a rinse and repeat pattern with chapter 11 for the last 2 years and I won't post it until I am happy with it because I'm not one to post something half-assed just to put something out. Not only do the readers deserve better than that, but so do I. Do it right or don't do it at all.

SO, to remedy this horrible, horrible writer's block I've been doing some writing on the side. One Shots, other chapter stories, notes for other story ideas. But I won't post them until completed. I've learned my lesson with with _Braille_ that writer's block has the worst timing and I won't leave readers hanging like that again. _Braille_ will be finished, but I'm getting other things out while I'm working through this writer's block.

That's where **_Forgive_ _Me _**comes in. It's a One Shot I thought of back in 2009, started in 2010, and barely reopened the file January 2012 and finished it just now. How's that for perspective on how deep my writer's woes run? Eh? Haha. Anyway. It's been a while. I'm a little rusty, but this story was inspired by **Missy Higgins'** song _**Forgive** **Me**_. Take a listen to it and this story, its inspiration, and tone will all make sense. If you listen to the song or have heard it, then you will know that a prominent theme in this story is infidelity. If you have a serious problem with that, well here's your warning.

All you need to know is that seasons 1-4 happened. No Sire Records internship, though. Peyton got pregnant right out of high school (this will make sense when age is mentioned) and Leyton married young.

Without further ado, here's my "comeback". This is unbeta'd, all mistakes are mine.

Enjoy!

xoxo

* * *

There are dark circles under his red-rimmed eyes and a week's worth of stubble on his strong jaw. His troubled mind has taken a toll on him and there was only one way to remedy this – A confession. Before he can even blink, there's a flurry of movement. One minute he's holding his breath, watching her intently as his words hang in the following silence between them, and then the next minute she's no longer sitting across from him. It takes him a minute to react and he jumps up to follow her into their bedroom.

"Peyton, what're…" his words catch in his throat, because he knows what this is. He already knows.

She's pulled out one of his bags and moving like a blur, grabbing his belongings and haphazardly throwing them in. She doesn't even bother to answer him. All he can do is stand in the doorway, frozen in place, just watching her move about the room. She's kicking him out. She won't dare let herself cry, but the rosy tint of her nose and flushed cheeks are a testament that she's on the verge of doing just that.

"Peyton, please." He moves forward, trying to stop her from putting more things into his bag, but it only infuriates her more.

"_Fuck you_!" She yells, shoving him in the chest before his hands can come anywhere near her.

His blue eyes widen as he places a hand where she just pushed him. Her once vibrant hazel eyes are now dull, they're burning with a fury he's never seen before, yet they were now a dull green. That ache in his chest has nothing to do with the sheer force of her pushing him away; it was a pain that had everything to do with the look in her eyes and the realization that he's truly fucked up this time.

"You need to leave," She zips up the bag and throws it at him. Lucas catches it in time but drops it as if it burned his hands.

"No, Peyton, listen to me. Let me explain!"

"No _you_ listen!" She gets right in his face. "I've been here - _waiting _for you, taking care of our _son,_ and _missing_ you while _you_ were over there fucking around! I've heard _enough_!"

"Peyton, please, you need to understand!" He shouts and he can see the fight she's ready to put up. "_Nothing happened!"_

She freezes, her eyes narrowing. "Nothing happened? What do you mean _nothing happened_? You just said—"

"I know what I said," he grits out while pinching the bridge of his nose. They're only 23 years old, they're not meant to be dealing with this kind of stuff.

But they are. And it's his fault.

"Okay," she crosses her arms over her chest, her brow furrowing. "So was your tongue down her throat or not?"

"Peyton," he gives her a wounded look as he shakes his head.

"Well?" She raises her voice again and he closes his eyes with his hands on his hips. "_Did_ you or did you _not_ cheat on me?"

"I stopped it before it went too far."

Eyes wide and jaw slackened, Peyton just stares at him but he refuses to meet her eyes.

He was going to sleep with her.

_He was going to sleep with her_.

She turns away, breathing heavily. "I'm going to be sick."

"Peyton you have to believe me," he pleads as he nears her. "Nothing happened."

"Nothing?" She growls. "You nearly sleeping with another woman is _not_ nothing, Lucas!"

"It meant nothing!"

Peyton ignores him as she goes to pick up the bag he dropped earlier. He panics. His heart is racing because she's really going to kick him out. He can't let her do that. He can't lose her. He can't lose his family.

"God. Peyton, please listen to me!" He begs as he follows her out of their bedroom. "I was drunk. I was drunk and missing you—"

"Did you miss me while you were kissing her?" She snaps without looking back.

"YES!"

They stop just before she descends the stairwell and gives him a look that is somewhere between disgust and confusion. Sometimes the things that come out of this boy's mouth confuse her like no other.

Their silence indicates that she's listening and waiting for him to elaborate, but all the sudden he doesn't _want_ to explain what he just revealed. But she's finally listening and she's waiting for an answer.

"We had too many—_I_ had too many because I missed you _so damn much_," the crinkle between his eyebrows shows his desperation for her to believe him, "Sam—Samantha," he quickly corrects himself when Peyton's eyebrows shoot up, "she was there and one thing led to another, I guess. I don't really remember how we, we got to…that point," he stutters. He doesn't want to give too many details. It hurts him to say it and it'll only hurt her to hear them. "But I, I was thinking of you the whole time…"

He trails off with his cheeks burning and Peyton rears back like she's been slapped. Her head is spinning right now and she just wants him to leave. She turns and continues her journey to throw him out the front door and he's hot on her heels.

"Don't you get it? I missed you, Peyton! I didn't want to go out to New York because I knew I'd miss you."

"Oh, so it's _my _fault?!"

"NO!" His voice peaks as he grabs for her but she shoves him off. "God, no Peyt! It meant _nothing_, I stopped it because it meant _nothing_ and she isn't you!"

The loud scrape the metal makes against the ceramic dish is like ice being poured over his heart as she grabs his car keys. She turns to look at him and her eyes are glossed over with tears.

"How?" Her voice breaks. "Sounds like you two were at it for some time before you stopped it or else you wouldn't feel so damn guilty. It must've taken you a while to snap back to your senses. So, tell me, Lucas—_What_ made you stop? Exactly _how far_ did you guys go before you realized what you were doing?"

His heart clenches painfully and his eyes snap shut. He can't go back from this.

"We were in, in bed," his eyes squeeze tighter when he hears her take a shaky breath. "We were in bed and I, I grabbed her hand—like we do—and, and she didn't have your ring. I didn't feel the rings."

Peyton clamps a hand over her mouth to quiet her sob. Lucas' eyes snap open at the sound and he moves to pull her into his arms but she steps back with a shake of her head. The tears she's been holding at bay finally spill over and that's when Lucas lets himself cry too.

"Peyton, baby, nothing happened. We only kissed, that's it. It didn't go any further because I only want _you_!"

"You wanted me or you wanted _sex_?!" She shouts and she's suddenly thankful that their son is spending the night at his aunt and uncle's.

"You're sick," she whispers more to herself than for him to hear. But he hears her and his heart shatters. "You, you've cheated before but that was _with me_. We did it to Brooke but, but it—we were _in love_."

"I made a mistake then, Peyton. I didn't love Brooke, I loved _you_ and I made a mistake by choosing her."

"_Exactly_."

Peyton's response causes Lucas' brow to crease in confusion.

"You've cheated _with me_ and we said it was out of love. I _never _thought you'd cheat on_ me_ because I thought you were _so in love _with me. Well I guess I thought wrong."

"No, no, no, no. I _love_ you Peyton!" He moves forward and pulls her to his chest regardless of the fact that she's fighting him. "Please don't do this. Please don't."

"Let me go," she pushes against him but his vice grip tightens. He knows he screwed up, he's screwed up and a simple sorry isn't going to cut it this time around. If only he could go back, he would do everything differently.

He wouldn't have drank as much.

He wouldn't have kissed Samantha back.

He wouldn't have left his family – great opportunities be damned. The greatest thing that has ever happened to him is currently pushing him away.

Using all of her weight, Peyton finally shoves him away and rushes to the door. She yanks the door open and throws his bag out onto the porch. He's still standing with his back to her, his posture shows defeat but he can't move. Her eyes are glued to the ground as she tells him to leave; she can't look at him right now.

When he doesn't make an effort to move, Peyton marches right over to stand in front of him and she pushes him toward the door. He quickly reacts, reaching out for her evading hands and her eyes still refuse to look up at him. Before he knows it, he's stumbling out onto the porch and Peyton chucks his keys at him. They crash against his chest with a harsh sound and he catches them before they fall to the ground.

The last thing he sees is Peyton's small frame drowning in that old plaid button up of his and her blonde curls half shielding her tear-stained face.

And then the door slams shut in his face.

* * *

He heaves a loud sigh as he trudges up the steps to Nathan and Haley's house. It's been five weeks since Peyton kicked him out. She hasn't been as cold and angry as she was that night, they've talked on the phone about neutral things like their son and Tric as it is a shared business. She asks about his writing (non-existent) and he doesn't tell her that the publishers have offered him an office in New York. He partially blames New York for ruining their marriage, though he knows he's solely to blame. Lucas cherishes their phone calls even though they're short and to the point, usually to set up a time and date for him to see Ben.

It's actually the reason he's at Nathan and Haley's right now.

Every other day, Peyton drops off Ben and Lucas goes to pick him up or they spend time together at Nathan and Haley's. Now that Lucas thinks about it, staying in at Nathan and Haley's house has become more and more frequent upon Ben's request. The five year old use to greet his father enthusiastically and tell him how much he missed him, but Ben has become more distant lately. It was a slow change in his son that he brushed off at first, thinking that it attributed to his absence from home, but it was getting worse.

Not long after he rings the doorbell, Haley invites him in with a warm smile and a hug. She quietly asks him how he is doing with that concerned look in her eyes. He hates this. The sympathy and pity, he hates it. He doesn't deserve it. Their kindness, their sympathetic glances, their friendship is like a weight on his heart. After what he's done to his wife, to their _friend_, they should hate him. But they don't, and Haley is being the best best friend that she is while also being an amazing supportive friend and sister-in-law to Peyton. Haley points in the direction of the family room where he can already hear the boys' loud laughter.

Lucas quietly steps into the room and a smirk is quick to appear on his lips. Jamie and Ben are caught in a serious, but harmless, wrestling match on the floor. They've kicked off their shoes and they're scrambling over each other to gain the upper hand. If they didn't know any better, they could pass for brothers instead of cousins. Jamie could actually pass for Lucas' son with his blonde hair, but his blue eyes were all Nathan. Ben had inherited Lucas' thick ashy blonde hair, but his eyes...they're all Peyton.

Clearing his throat, Lucas makes his presence known and the boys freeze. Their eyes are quick to find Lucas smiling down at them. Jamie quickly untangles from his cousin and darts forward to hug his uncle.

"Uncle Lucas!" He chirps with a squeeze. "Hi."

"Hey, Jimmy Jam." He chuckles as Jamie pushes away the hand ruffling his already messy hair. Haley enters the room with a smile. Lucas doesn't smile or laugh as often and it's a very welcomed sound when he saw the boys. Looking to his son, Lucas' smile falters. Ben is kneeling in the same spot with a slight frown.

"Hey, buddy," Lucas breathes with an extended arm, inviting him in for a hug. Ben looks at his father's arm, then back up with the same stoic look on his face. A knot forms on Lucas' brow and Haley shifts behind him.

"Ben, sweetie, aren't you going to give your daddy a hug?" She encourages sweetly. Peyton has made sure to protect him from his parents' problems, he has no idea they're fighting. He's been all smiles and laughter all day, so Haley doesn't understand the sudden change.

"I'm going to go play outside," Ben mumbles as he climbs to his feet and moves toward the opposite exit. Haley whispers to Jamie to go grab some outside toys from his room while Lucas quickly reaches out to Ben.

"Ben," his voice urges his son to look at him and he does, "What's the matter? Talk to me."

"I don't want to," he pouts, looking down. In that instant he feels like he's talking to Peyton, not his son, and his heart clenches.

"Well, that's too bad because you have to," Lucas says in a tone that leaves no room for argument. "Why are you acting like this, Benny?"

His large green eyes meet his father's worried blue ones and he very clearly says, "I don't like you very much anymore."

It feels like he's been punched in the gut. Lucas' mouth falls open and he stares straight into Ben's eyes, eyes that are so much like his mother's, and he sees that his son is very serious. Haley, also stunned by Ben's words, places a comforting hand on Lucas' back because he is seconds away from falling apart.

"Ben," she's breathless, much like her best friend, "W-why would you say that? You don't mean that."

Ben's eyes shift to his Aunt Haley and Lucas has to look away to keep the tears in his eyes at bay. Those green eyes are unwavering as Ben speaks to his aunt.

"I don't like Daddy anymore. He makes Mommy sad."

And just like that, the five year old excuses himself from the room despite his aunt's shocked expression. Lucas has his eyes tightly shut, trying to block out his son's words from his mind, but he can't. Haley touches his arm, calling his name softly to comfort him but he just shakes her off.

There's that damn pity again.

His eyes burn with unshed tears as he shakes his head, a motion to silence Haley, and then he brushes past her. She calls after him but he needs to get out of there. He needs air. He needs something, _anything_ to forget any of this ever happened.

* * *

She's usually a heavy sleeper. Not even the loudest of alarms can wake her, but for the last five weeks her nights have been filled with tossing and turning. The bed is far too cold, she doesn't feel safe, and she even misses the way his soft snoring would come as small puffs of air on the back of her neck. She's not sleeping well anymore and it's not brain surgery to figure out why.

So when a muffled thump wakes her with a start, Peyton almost has to question whether she's imagined it. It could be the wind from the rainy weather, but then it happens again and that's definitely not a natural sound. She makes sure to grab her robe after she climbs out of bed and tip toes to Ben's bedroom. Peeking in, she sees him still sound asleep. He definitely takes after her in the sleeping habits department.

Peyton hears the sound again and follows it downstairs. She's on the last step when there's another soft thump and the handle of the front door twists. Fear envelopes her entire body and she's suddenly grateful that Lucas has gotten her into the habit of locking the front door. She's about to make a run for the phone when she hears a muffled voice on the other side of the door. Against her better judgment, she tiptoes closer and strains to listen through the door.

"_Pey'en_."

She unlocks the door and yanks it open so quickly that Lucas nearly falls through. He was obviously leaning against the door and to prevent crushing Peyton, he shifts his weight back, albeit a little too fast so that he topples onto his back.

"_Lucas_?" Peyton hisses.

He sits up while rubbing the back of his head and breathes a quiet 'ow'. Peyton takes in his rain soaked clothes and the way his body seems to sway unsteadily and she arches her eyebrow. When he finally looks in her direction, a lopsided grin is quick to replace his pained expression as he looks her up and down.

"D'you always answer the doooor lookin' like that?" He slurs.

Her robe is hanging open and her deep grey silk nightgown is on full display. His grin immediately turns into a groan of disappointment when she wraps her body in the robe and ties it tight with the belt. Aside from being naked, that silky grey number was his favorite of her sleepwear.

"You're drunk."

He looks away in shame.

"I know. I-I'm sorry." He shifts to his knees like he's going to stand but then decides against it. The world won't stop spinning and it just seems like a bad idea right now. "Peyt, Peyt I'm so sorry."

She scoffs, "Lucas, it's late. You're drunk. I'm not doing this right now."

"N-n-no, no wait," he scrambles forward clumsily and Peyton backs away as he leans against the door to steady himself. "Please, Pey'en. I-I can't, I can't live without you babe. I-I…"

"Luke," she sighs with a shake of her head. "Did you drive like this?"

He shakes his head, his body swaying with the movement.

"Walked. I'm not, I'm not stupid."

That would explain why he was completely drenched. She was relieved to hear he didn't drive, but didn't let on to that fact.

She gave him a curt nod. "Good. You need to go, though."

"Peyt," his voice sounds strangled. He stands and takes a few steps forward. Somehow his shoe slips with the moisture and Peyton moves just in time. She gasps as his right hand loudly slams into the door to steady himself and the other breaks his fall on the ground. Lucas hisses in pain and Peyton is quick to crouch down beside him.

"Sorry. Sorry, sorry…" he breaths out and Peyton freezes when she hears him sob. "God, I'm so sorry…"

"Lucas…"

"I miss you, Baby. I miss you and I wouldn't be miss-missing you if I didn't go and f-fuck it all up," he says through clenched teeth. Her heart constricts at his words and she tentatively places a hand on his shoulder.

"Mommy?"

Her hand quickly retracts and their heads snap up to see Ben standing at the top of the stairwell. He looks so small and fragile in his Superman pajamas.

"Oh god, I can't let him see me like this," Lucas bows his head and tries to get up. "Don't let him see me like this."

"Benny," Peyton casually shifts to cover Lucas from her son's view, "Benny, just go back to bed."

"Mommy…"

"Please don't let him see me like this," Lucas sobs quietly behind her.

She turns, brushing Lucas' hair away from his forehead and the fresh tears on his cheeks nearly crush her.

"Stay here, okay? Don't move," she says quietly.

Without waiting for a response, Peyton hurries up the stairs and gently guides Ben to his bedroom.

As she tucks him into bed, Ben notices his mother's rapid blinking. He's come to learn that Mommy does that when she tries to not cry. For a five year old, he's very observant and very Lucas-like in his caring nature.

"What's wrong with Daddy?" Ben asks quietly.

Peyton gives him a smile as she smoothes a finger on his soft cheek, "Daddy's just being a little funny right now."

"I don't think he's funny," he mumbles while avoiding her eyes.

Peyton's smile falters. She runs her fingers through his thick hair while taking in his newly acquired brooding expression. Aside from those green eyes, her son is the splitting image of his father, right down to Lucas' mannerisms. This is the first time his brooding has made an appearance in a long, long time.

"It's okay if you miss your Daddy. I'm sure he misses you, too." Peyton assures him softly. "You know, Benny, if you want your Daddy to come home…we can ask him to. Would you like that?"

She's made sure to protect her son from it all, so he's under the impression that Lucas is away on another business trip. But if asking Lucas to come back home would turn Ben's frown into a smile, she'd do it. She'd do anything for her son. He's missed his dad and if Peyton was honest with herself, she's missed is dad, too.

Ben's eyes refuse to meet his mother's and he chooses to not respond. She watches his features in the moonlight with a slight frown, and then leans forward to brush her lips against his temple.

"Go to sleep, baby." She whispers.

Without a word, Ben turns to his side and hugs his stuffed lion close to his chest. Peyton stands and nearly reaches the door when he calls out to her.

"Mommy?"

She looks back, "Yeah, baby?"

"I love you."

His innocent declaration leaves her speechless. The light from the hallway illuminates the room just enough so she can see him settle further into his bed and she is at awe of his behavior.

"I love you too, baby," she breathes out.

Peyton leans back against the door as she softly closes it behind her. She doesn't have enough time to gather her bearings before she hears a coming from the front door. Light on her feet, Peyton descends the stairwell to see that Lucas has stepped into the foyer after clumsily shutting the door and is now struggling to lock it behind him. He can't get the damn contraption to work and his lack of balance isn't helping.

"What're you doing?" Peyton hisses as she approaches from behind.

Startled by her unexpected return, Lucas twists to face her but the quick movement nearly sends him tumbling once more. He presses himself closer to the door to restore his equilibrium, but he's suddenly dizzy for a completely different reason when Peyton reaches around him to lock the front door. His eyes fall shut when her hand accidentally brushes against his arm in the process. She's so close, he can smell her lotion and it's torturing him.

As soon as she moves back, Lucas moves away from the door and he's heading for the family room. His footing is a bit wobbly but he just really needs to get away from her. Peyton sighs heavily as she falls into step behind him and grasps his forearm to help guide him safely to the sofa. When he tries to pull away from her, Peyton tries not to feel hurt and tightens her hold on him.

"Come on," she huffs, "I can't have you crashing into things and waking, Ben. Let me help you."

At the mention of their son, Lucas stops resisting and allows Peyton to guide him the rest of the way to the sofa. As soon as he sits down, he realizes his clothing is drenched and he's probably ruining their—_her _sofa, and he quickly tugs at his leather jacket. The alcohol in his system has apparently taken its toll and the simple action of pulling off a jacket is suddenly a losing battle. His growing frustration has Peyton assisting him and she helps free his arms from the sleeves with such ease. She's leaning into him and the scent of that damn lotion puts him in another trance. He watches her delicate facial features, so close in proximity and void of the annoyance he's expected from her, but her eyes won't meet his. Not even once.

Before she can move away to set his jacket aside, Lucas' hand shoots out and grabs her left hand with a surprising agility in his inebriated state. Peyton's wide green eyes meet his troubled blue eyes and his free hand takes the jacket from her, dropping it to the floor beside them. His gaze leaves hers to settle on her hand in his and the glint of her wedding band brings tears to his eyes. Slowly, and lovingly, his thumb moves back and forth over the silver band. She can't seem to find her voice and she doesn't have the heart to pull her hand away when he brings it up to rest on his stubbly cheek. He closes his eyes at the sensation of her soft palm on his skin and the tears lazily roll down his cheek.

Peyton just can't find it in her heart to pull away.

She doesn't have the strength to take away this comfort when he's clearly falling apart in front of her. When she'd asked Haley how he was doing, Peyton didn't doubt she wasn't telling the truth when she replied that he was miserable. But this, this was a whole other level of miserable.

"Pey'n," she has to lean in to hear his soft whispers. "I-I was never good enough for yo-ou."

"Luke…" she shakes her head, wanting him to stop but he doesn't.

"I-I knew it from the be-beginning. I knew from the start, that I wasn't good e-enuff," his pained blue eyes meet hers with a slight hiccup. "All I e'er do i-is hurt you, Pey'n. I just, I just…I f-fuckin' _love_ you so damn much," a harsh sob breaks his slurred speech but it doesn't stop him, "You've al-always been so good to m-me. I don't des-serve you."

Lucas' eyes fall shut once more as he lets out a breath, almost like he's winded from his words, and he turns his head to kiss her inner wrist. Again, his thumb gently caresses the wedding band on her finger and the gesture makes his face contort with emotion. As soon as his pained expression appeared, it quickly vanishes with a heavy sigh. His lips, however, haven't left the skin of her wrist and she's absolutely sure he can feel her racing pulse.

It becomes too much for her, though, so she gentle slips her hand away, forcing his eyes to open in slight confusion. He looks like a lost boy, the boy she fell in love with at sixteen, and she looks anywhere but at him now.

"I, um, I'll go get you a pair of sleep shorts or…something," she mumbles as she stands. He gives her a hesitant nod as his eyes drop to the floor in shame. Somehow, through his alcohol induced state, he knows he's said too much yet far too little all at the same time.

Peyton takes her time with retrieving a pair of his flannel shorts from their bedroom. She makes sure to take a couple deep breathes to calm her nerves; but most of all she needed to keep her heart from breaking. Taking another deep breath, she softly shuts Lucas' drawer on the dresser with his flannel pajama bottoms in hand.

_Just give him the pants and go to bed, Peyton. That's it. Just give him the pants. _

She mentally prepares herself as she turns the corner, ready to announce her presence. Lucas, however, is already sprawled out on the sofa with an arm thrown over his eyes and the other draped across his stomach. He was always a sloppy sleeper after a night of drinking. Apparently taking her sweet time was just enough for Lucas to pass out during her absence.

A sigh passes her lips and she moves closer to him. The pajama bottoms are placed on the coffee table while she reaches for the small throw blanket draped across the back of the sofa. She gently pulls it over him, careful not to wake him, and watches to make sure he's still asleep. He doesn't move, yet Peyton hesitates a minute longer before moving back toward the staircase. She looks back, just once, and then she ascends quietly.

The next morning, Peyton wakes with the warmth of sun's rays shining through the bedroom window. She must've forgotten to close the blinds last night and she would have easily turned away to get a few more minutes of sleep if it wasn't for the heavy arm draped over her waist. Her left hand was incased in his larger one and their wedding bands glistened together in the sunlight. That warmth she felt wasn't from the sunlight coming through the window, it was coming from the body still slumbering behind her. He's practically molded himself to fit her every curve to the point that she could feel his strong chest pressed tightly into her back.

His _bare_ chest, to be exact.

He must've made his way up to the bedroom in the middle of the night after she went to bed. Somewhere between the time she left him downstairs and Lucas joining her in bed, he seemed to have also chucked all his clothes, except for his boxers.

She carefully turns to face him, his hold on her still strong even though he's out like a light. A quick glance down between them and a wave of relief washes over her to see that he does, in fact, still have his boxers on. A light blush colors her cheeks as her shy green eyes slowly travel back up his torso. She's always been appreciative of his muscular body, his time at the gym has been well spent.

Her eyes remain on his face as she watches him sleep peacefully. The dark circles under his eyes and new worry lines developing across his forehead disrupt the otherwise peaceful image. There's a heavy amount of stubble on his jaw, heavier than she's seen in a while. She knows he hasn't really been taking care of himself since he's left home and she's suddenly worried that he hasn't been taking his HCM pills, either.

She touches his face, keeping the pressure of her finger tips as light as a feather as she traces the new worry lines on his skin. _They're 23, they're far too young to be feeling this old._ As that thought crosses her mind, her hand has moved its way down and her thumb is tracing the skin beneath his smooth lower lip. Her eyes are fixate on the path her fingers have taken, so she doesn't catch how his eyes flutter briefly before squeezing shut once more.

"Am I dreaming?" his hoarse voice has her pulling her hand away, hoping to be discrete. "I don't want to open my eyes to find out it's just a dream."

He pulls her in closer by gently pushing onto the small of her back until they're flush against each other. The feeling of his strong, firm body has Peyton sucking in a breath. Lucas doesn't seem to notice or care as he buries his nose in her curls to take a deep breath, just inhaling the scent of his wife.

He pulls away from her curls, his eyes finally opening just enough to see her and the tiniest of smiles pinches the corners of her lips upwards. Her hazel eyes, that were only ever left unguarded to him, look up at him apprehensively as if she's unsure of herself.

For a brief moment, when their eyes meet, he feels 16 all over again.

"You're so damn beautiful," he breathes in awe. "I've missed this. Mornings with you, I've missed it."

His eyes aren't even fully opened, but the way he's looking at her brings a rosy color to her cheeks and she looks down to break the eye contact.

"How much do you remember from last night?" She asks quietly. His eyes close as he moves to lay on his back and Peyton tries to ignore how much she already misses the warmth and security his body brings to hers. He shakes his head at nothing in particular.

"I'm an idiot, that's what I remember," he grumbles with a frustrated sigh. Then he's just lying there with his eyes closed.

Peyton's eyes travel up his exposed torso as she nods at his response, not that he can see it but she does it anyway. Those worry lines on Lucas' forehead that were relaxed earlier are now tense in thought.

She reaches over and gently palms the opposite cheek to turn his head to her and his blue eyes finally snap open in surprise. Beneath the obvious surprise, Peyton sees all the self hate and pain buried deep within those blue eyes. She sees the longing and love that he has for her, and a silent plea for forgiveness.

Without a second thought, she leans over and places a soft kiss to the corner of his mouth. He's just lies there, wide eyed and frozen in shock. Almost as if he's afraid that this really is a dream, or if he makes one wrong move this would all disappear. So he just stays still, silently watching her as she gazes him while a battle ensues in her own mind.

Eventually her heart wins out and her body shifts over until she's straddling him. He sucks in a large amount of air as his eyes drop to drink in the sight of her body in that silk night gown he loves so much, and when one of the straps fall off her shoulder he feels like he can't breathe.

"Peyt," her name falls from his lips like a strangled sound.

His eyes are now on hers and she can see the fear as clear as day. She's sitting far enough down on his abdomen to feel the effect she has on him. He might still be her husband, but he's mortified that it didn't take much to arouse him. Not that it ever took much more than a simple coy look or the lick of an ice cream cone, but their marriage wasn't exactly stable at the moment for them to be doing this.

The hand on his stomach slides up to rest on his chest when she leans forward, and that look in her eye has him in a trance. His hands seem to move on their own, one going straight to grip her thigh and the other to brush her curls to one side and get a better look at her gorgeous face. His eyes travel down and he can see straight down her night gown with the way she's leaning over him. A moan escapes him. He can't help it; he's a man that's insanely aroused by his beautiful wife.

Her lips twitch into a brief smile at his reaction. She's sure her eyes have turned a darker shade, too. The way he's looking at her with unbridled desire and love makes her heart race as it has always done when they're like this. Closing the small distance between them, their lips finally join in a kiss.

At first the kiss is just lip to lip, like testing the waters in case she changes her mind or he's insane enough to push her away. When neither pulls away they both fall into the kiss. Her lips part and her tongue runs against the seam of his lips. Lucas is more than eager to respond as he tilts her head to deepen the kiss further.

He's missed being with her like this. It's the only sense of normalcy he's felt in over 5 weeks, more if you count his time in New York away from his wife. If this kiss was going to be all that she gives him, to only to kick him out afterwards, he'll savor every single second of it.

If only he knew the same thoughts were crossing her mind.

Waking up next to him and being with him like this – she's missed it. He'd always tease her for being the insatiable one and she'd just laugh with a shrug of her shoulders. He's her husband and he knows how to keep her satisfied in all aspects of their marriage. It's no surprise how much she's been craving to be intimate with him like this; ever since he took that trip to New York, she's wanted him in every sense of the word.

Their feverish kiss leaves them panting when she pulls back for air. His hand gently caresses the back of her neck, her hair falls back into place and those curls are framing her face once again while she braces herself on his heaving chest. It does nothing to shield her eyes from him and blue meets green. His breathing slows as he looks into her eyes, silently asking what they're getting themselves into and all she can do is blink. All she sees is the love and tenderness he's always held for her, but that hesitance in his gaze reminds her that the last thing he wants to do is hurt her any more than he already has.

She needs to make him understand that _not_ being with him hurts her more than anything.

When her lips crash into his once more, she nearly falls with the momentum of her own body, but both of his hands move to grip her waist in an attempt to steady her. The silk material of her night gown feels heavenly against his rough hands and her flesh sliding against the silk beneath his finger tips is what causes him to moan into their kiss.

Once again he feels like he can't breathe and he swears this has to be a dream. When her hips slide further down to straddle his arousal, he decides that if this is really a dream, _it's one hell of a good one_.

x0x0x0x0x

He quietly steps into the kitchen and sees her pouring coffee into a coffee mug. Her posture changes and he knows that she can sense his presence, but she won't turn around.

After their early morning activities, they fell asleep tangled up in each other. She, of course, fell asleep almost immediately after he rolled them over so as to not crush her. He didn't even have to pull her to him; she simply snuggled up against his side, placed her head on his chest with a leg draped over his and she was fast asleep within minutes. Lucas had watched her before sleep lured him to one of the most peaceful naps he's had in a long time.

Disappointment and dread would be an understatement when Lucas woke up shortly after to an empty bed. He was so sure he screwed up, that she'd regretted what they'd just done, and that she now hated him more than she already did.

The clink of a spoon draws his attention to the coffee she's preparing. A black mug, _his_ mug, slides across the counter and he almost wants to sigh in relief. She poured a cup of coffee for _him_, almost like a peace offering, a gesture that tells him he didn't completely screw up.

Peyton doesn't turn around when he steps up behind her. She expects him to just take his mug and sip his coffee quietly. She doesn't expect his hand to rest on the small of her back, a light touch as if it wasn't even there, and he simply gripped the handle of his black mug with his free hand. They stay like that, neither of them making eye contact or speaking a word, just his hand resting on her lower back as they stand together for their morning coffee. Neither says it, but they're savoring this feeling of _normalcy_.

His eyes are still glued to the countertop when she finally takes her mug and moves away from his touch.

"It's going to take a lot more than sex for me to forgive what you did," she's staring at her coffee, refusing to look at him.

"Peyton," He sighs, "I, I'm sorry. This morning-"

"Don't," their eyes snap up at the same time and meet, "Don't apologize for this morning."

His eyes narrow.

She blinks before continuing.

"I, I'm your wife. Don't apologize…you're allowed to have sex with your wife."

His jaw slackens in shock. He doesn't even know what to say to that. Shaking his head, he looks down at his mug as he grips the handle a little tighter. This morning was more than just having sex with his wife. It was about telling her how much he loves and misses her. He was showing her that she's the only woman for him. This morning was about coming home in every single sense of the word because _she's_ his home. His _family_ is home.

Right now, though, she's making it sound like something else entirely.

"Peyton…" he whispers and his voice shakes.

"I don't regret it, if that's what you're wondering," she says softly, making his eyes quickly meet hers again.

"But?" He knows there's more.

"But it doesn't change anything," the hurt in her eyes remains as she speaks. "It doesn't mean I've forgiven you. It doesn't change what you did."

He has to look away to hide the tears building. Sex doesn't erase the last five weeks or what he's done, he knows that. He just hates that this morning's activities are tainted by his infidelity. No matter how brief or its severity, he hurt his wife and lost her trust and he'll do anything to take it all back so he can fix this. He wants to come home.

Swallowing hard and blinking away his tears, Lucas looks back down at his black coffee mug as he nods his head.

"I know," he whispers. "I just, I want-"

"Momma!"

Their eyes snap to the entrance as Ben bounces into view. The smile on his face slowly fades when he sees that his mom isn't alone, his dad is there and they look like deer caught in headlights.

No one moves. It's awkward even though Ben doesn't know _why_ exactly; he just knows that it is. Lucas is the first to break the tension with a small grin.

"Hey, bud." He keeps his tone light and playful, like this morning is no different than any other, but Ben continues to look up at his father without returning his smile. Lucas falters under his son's serious expression and a wave of relief washes over him when Peyton touches his elbow for comfort.

"Look, Benny, Daddy's here." She smiles at him, "Maybe he'll make your favorite breakfast? Would you like that?"

Ben continues to survey his father for a few more seconds before shaking his head and looking to his mother's diminishing sweet smile.

"No, that's okay. I'm not hungry."

Without another glance in Lucas' direction, Ben retraces his steps and hurries back to his room, leaving his mother and father speechless.

Lucas blinks and clears his throat, calling Peyton's attention once again. "I, I think I'm just…going to go."

She fails to mask her disappointment, but Lucas' pained expression remains down cast and he misses it completely.

"Okay." She says softly as she moves back to the sink to prepare a small snack for Ben.

He hesitates before following her. She can feel him coming up behind her and she stops what she was doing when his arms come up on either side of her, trapping her in between his warm body and the hard counter top. They stand there in silence, her heart hammering in her chest while his feels like it's being torn to shreds, and then he softly kisses her cheek and she freezes. His lips linger on her skin as they drag up to her ear.

"I love you," he whispers.

And then he's gone.

* * *

Days later, he's parked outside of Tric, just sitting in his car and thinking. Thinking about how much he's fucked up. Thinking about the beautiful sincerity in Peyton's features that morning, just before they made love. Thinking about the distrust every time he looks in his son's eyes.

But he's mostly thinking about the conversation he just had with his brother. Nathan voiced a truth that Lucas already knew, but refused to accept the reality of it all. He was just so scared of losing her, but may have already lost her in a moment of drunken stupidity and he had no one else to blame but himself.

_Give her some space_, he'd said. Lucas had looked at Nathan like he'd grown a second head. How could he give her some space? He was trying to win her _back_! But deep down he knew Nathan was right. He was the one that screwed, he needed to give her time and space.

With that thought, Lucas trudged up the steps to the business his mother handed down to him and his wife. He knew she'd be there. _Alone_. It was early enough that there wasn't even a line outside but it was late enough that he knew she'd still be working in her office.

He taps on her opened door and she looks up surprised. Her curls are pulled up into a tight ponytail, something she never does unless she's stressed or feeling a little down. His guilt is overshadowed by her beauty. As much as he loves her hair down and curly, he can fully admire her flawless features when she pulls her hair away from her face. He doesn't ever tell her that, though, because she only pulls her hair up when she's sad.

"Lucas?" she sets her pen down and furrows her brow in confusion.

"Can I come in?" his hands instinctively bury in his pockets and he suddenly sounds 16 years old, not 23.

Peyton nods as she closes her laptop and he takes a seat in the chair in front of her desk. They sit in an uncomfortable silence and in that time he notices the worried crinkle in her brow and the way her leg is bouncing nervously. Things have never been like this for them and this only reaffirms Nathan's suggestion to give Peyton space.

"I- We haven't heard much from you lately," Peyton breaks the silence. He hears her slip up but chooses to ignore it if that's what she wants. "Is everything alright?"

Of course. He's the one that hurt her and she's asking about _him_. He doesn't deserve her kindness.

Lucas nods, "Yeah. I just- I've been thinking a lot."

She waits for him to elaborate, but it's obvious he's hesitating for some reason or other.

"About?"

Their eyes meet and he is quick to look away, fixating his stare on her desk because this conversation will be even harder if he looks her in the eye. Peyton swallows when he leans forward, still refusing to make eye contact, and that look on his face tells her that this is something serious.

"Peyt, I," he takes a deep breath before continuing, "The publishers are offering me an office," he looks into her eyes, "in New York."

She sits back in her chair, her facial expression unchanged and waiting for him to continue because she knows there's more. Lucas looks away once more, those green eyes are too much and if he keeps looking into them then he won't be able to do what he _has_ to.

"You know, if the circumstance were different I would have turned down the offer in a heartbeat, even if it meant losing a great opportunity. My family is _everything _to me. But, Peyton, without you—living day to day without you, _hurting_ you - I don't know anymore."

Tears build in her large green eyes as she stares at her husband. He sounds as lost as ever, like his world is crumbling around him and all she can do is wish that things could be different. She wishes she could trust him again and instill that feeling of hope back into his life, but she's been hurting and too afraid to let him back in. She doesn't know how, so she offers the only other ray of hope.

"What about your son?" She whispers.

His tear-filled blue eyes are quick to find hers, just to find the same unshed tears in hers. He feels his heart clench, because she didn't ask him to stay and she's brought up Benny.

"My son hates me, Peyton." His voice breaks and Peyton leans forward on her desk with a shake of her head, but Lucas cuts her off. "You and I both know it's the truth. He doesn't want anything to do with me."

"Luke, I didn't-"

"I know," without thinking, Lucas reaches out and places his hand on hers, "I _know_ you wouldn't do that to me. I know you haven't told Benny the truth and you've protected him from all of it."

Her tears finally fall and she nods, "He's just a boy."

"I know," he blinks away his own tears. "He's a _smart_ boy, though, and he takes after his Dad." Lucas can only smile at the confused look she gives him. "It's practically written in his DNA to protect you, Peyton. He knows when you're hurting and he somehow knows that I'm the one that caused it. Don't blame yourself for _any _of this, but if what's best is for me to go away for a little while and give you space, then I will."

His thumb runs over her skin in a comforting motion and her eyes are transfixed on their joined hands. She figures he didn't do it on purpose, but it just so happens that his left hand is wrapped around her left and the glint of their wedding bands catches her attention. Her eyes meet his once more and he has the most sincere look in his face. She can't tell who is hurting more – her or him – all she knows is that this just all _hurts_.

"You really think I'll be better off without you?"

Her question surprises them both. She didn't mean to voice that question out loud and he didn't expect her to say that. He grips her hand a little tighter. This time he refuses to look away and she does the same, so their eyes lock for what feels like an eternity. She's afraid to say anything more and he's afraid that this moment could be lost if he says the wrong thing.

"_You_ tell _me_, Peyt," he breathes. A slow flame, something burning inside of him ignites and it feels a lot like hope. He knows he shouldn't, but her question makes him feel like she still wants him. All is not lost. "If you don't want me to go, then I won't."

He's practically holding his breath, waiting for an answer and hoping that she'll ask him to stay. She sees all the hope in his eyes. Those soulful blue eyes are begging her to make everything right in his world and he's silently promising to fix it. Her throat constricts and another tear trails the tracks the others left behind on her cheeks. She takes a deep, shuddering breath and looks down at her lap and Lucas feels his whole world shatter once more. The pain and realization that maybe, just _maybe_, he can't fix this afterall.

He's caused her too much pain. She's finally sick of his shit. This is it. It's over.

He gives her hand one last squeeze before releasing his hold and he stands. Peyton's eyes screw shut as she protectively wraps her arms around herself. Lucas nods his head while keeping his eyes on the desk between them, not daring to look her in the eye again.

"I, uh, I'll stop by the house tomorrow and talk to Benny." He struggles to keep his voice from shaking, but it's a lost cause. "I won't make any decisions without talking to him first."

Out of the corner of his eye, he watches Peyton. When she doesn't respond or nod or do anything, Lucas' head drops with a nod and he lets himself out. As soon as the door closes behind him, Peyton's features crumble with emotion and her hands come up to muffle the sob that finally escapes.

* * *

Two weeks later, he's standing on their doorstep while Nathan is waiting in the car. She opens the door with a weak smile as she steps aside to let him in. It's silent and somehow they both think it's better this way.

"Ben?" Peyton calls out. "Benny, can you come here for a sec? Your dad is here."

Ben peeks in first before stepping into the foyer and Lucas tries his best to put on a smile. When he had told Ben about his job offer, the little boy had no objections and he'd just shrugged his shoulders, much to Lucas' dismay. Right now, Lucas is trying to put on a brave face even though he's hurting and having doubts, but nothing hurts him more than seeing such indifference in his son's expression.

"Hey Benny," Lucas smiles. "I've missed you."

The little boy glances up at his mother, then back at his father, but remains mute.

"Listen— if you want, I can come back to see you for a weekend each month, _more_ if that's okay with you and your mom?" He tries again. When it's obvious that Ben won't be answering him anytime soon, Lucas sighs in defeat as he kneels down to his son's height. "Okay. Can I at least have a hug goodbye, buddy?"

She's been standing off to the side and quiet, but Peyton can see the hurt in Lucas' face at their son's lack of response.

"Benjamin Keith Scott," she speaks firmly, "give your father a hug."

Lucas is quick to shake his head, giving Peyton a grateful smile, "No, that's okay. I don't want to make him do anything he doesn't want to."

He places both hands on Ben's shoulders and with a brief squeeze, Lucas plants a loving kiss on the five year old's forehead. Just when he moves to stand, he is suddenly engulfed in a small, but powerful, hug. Lucas has no will power to stop the tears that form in his eyes as he hugs his son back just as fiercely. Peyton has to turn away.; seeing Lucas being a loving father has always been such a precious sight to her, but this moment is so bittersweet.

"I still don't like you for making Mommy sad," Benny whispers to his father, just so his mother wouldn't hear.

Lucas holds him a little tighter and whispers back, "I know. I'm sorry."

They pull back a bit, but Lucas takes a moment to look at his son with such pride.

"You'll look after her for me?" He raises his eyebrows in question. Ben doesn't hesitate and nods, bringing a smile to his father's face. "Be good, kay? Now go back to watching your cartoons."

As he straightens up, Lucas watches Ben disappear into the other room and he finally turns to Peyton and she does the same. They stand there awkwardly for a few seconds and she notices his hand twitch. She knows he's restraining himself as best as he can.

"Can I…" he trails off and she nods, knowing exactly what he's asking.

He moves forward and hugs her. It's that infamous Lucas Scott hug. The one where she's completely enveloped in his embrace. His arm wraps around her slender waist and the other comes up to cup the back of her neck, keeping her impossibly close. The sensation nearly makes her cry but she reciprocates the hug as tightly as she can.

"I'm so sorry for everything, baby." He breathes into her hair. "I'll fix this. I'm giving you space, but I'll fix this. Be happy, Peyton. Please."

She nods silently and he finally lets go. He's at the front door, holding it open, but he looks back at his wife and thinking of his little family.

He waves, and then he's gone.

x0x0x0x0x

He hears the final call for his flight and Lucas stands with a sigh. Just as he approaches the boarding gate, someone calls out his name from behind him and he whips around just in time to catch the curly blonde crashing into him. He's doing his best to steady them by gripping her shoulders but it becomes a little difficult when she's hitting him the way she is.

"You're so stupid, Lucas Scott!" She sobs. His concerned blue eyes search her face, she's been crying.

People around them are staring and whispering, so Lucas gently guides her to a side where they can have a bit of privacy. Her tears are continuous and are now starting to worry him.

"Peyt, what're you doing here? What's wrong?"

And then she slaps him. _Hard_.

His hand immediately covers his reddened cheek and his blue eyes widen in shock. Not because she hit him, but because it's taken her _this_ _long_ to do so.

"You're such an idiot!" She cries once more.

"Peyton-"

"No, Lucas, you're an idiot!"

"I know I am, alright?!" He shouts back. "I know!"

"No you _don't _know," her head shakes angrily and her bloodshot green eyes narrow. "You're an idiot for cheating, _yes_. But you're an even bigger idiot if you think for even a second that I don't love you or need you anymore!"

Lucas takes a small step back, faltering at her sudden admission.

"You're an _idiot_ if you truly believe that you were never good enough for me because that's not even fucking close to the truth."

He's speechless as he shakes his head in disbelief. His hand falls away from his cheek and Peyton takes a step closer to gently take his face in her soft hands. The cool feel of her wedding band on his skin reaffirms that this is really happening, that this is all he's wanted for the past couple of torturous weeks without her.

"You're such a damn idiot because even though you've done some really _stupid_ shit, you've always been more than enough. I love you, you fucking idiot," she says breathlessly. His hands move on their own accord and he grips her hips to pull her to him as he looks into her vulnerable eyes.

"I hurt you too damn much," he whispers painfully and he rests his forehead against hers. They're so very suddenly tired.

"Then fix it."

And he finally says what he's been afraid to admit all along, "I-I don't know how."

"Don't stay away too long."

He pulls away with a questioning look. She chuckles quietly and a hesitant smile forms on his lips, he hasn't heard that sound in a while.

"Come back to us, _soon_. I hurt so much more when you're away," she's never sounded this vulnerable and her eyes falling to his shirt buttons only amplify that.

Suddenly everything his five year old son has said finally makes sense – he was _hurting_ mommy. He was hurting mommy everytime he goes away. His smile, though small, disappears with that realization and he shuts his eyes – _he really is an idiot_.

Peyton is caught off guard when he abruptly wraps her up in his arms, embracing her tightly, and buries his face in her neck. His large palm cups the back of her neck and his other arm is around her waist, holding her against his firm body.

_The Lucas Scott hug_.

"I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry. Please forgive me," he whispers brokenly.

* * *

Lucas breathes a sigh of relief, thanking the bartender with a smile as he turns back to survey the room. It's a small cocktail party to celebrate the publication of his second novel and the room is full of his colleagues. After shaking so many hands and chatting with people wanting to congratulate him, this is the first time he's had a chance to sneak away for a moment to himself and it comes as a relief.

But that's the New York City life and he has yet to adjust to it.

He barely gets a sip in when he notices a strawberry blonde in his peripheral vision. His posture goes rigid when she sidles up next to him and he curses under his breath.

"Lucas," she purrs in acknowledgement, though she too surveys the room as though they aren't talking.

His jaw clenches as he looks the other away and takes a generous sip from his glass, hoping she'd get the hint.

She rolls her brown eyes, but smiles at his brush off.

"What're you doing here, Samantha?" His blue eyes skitter across the room; he doesn't even want to look at her. "I'm pretty sure your name wasn't on the list."

She chuckles, but chooses to ignore his question. "I heard a little rumor that your marriage is on the rocks."

That got his attention. The muscles in his jaw tense and she coolly returns his stare.

"Does _she _know what happened between us?" She's taunting him and he gives her a look of disgust at that evil smirk on her face.

"Yes," he says while looking away. "I told her, actually."

She seems satisfied with that answer and she moves a little closer.

"Mmm, well. I've missed you and I think we should finish what we started, then." She purrs seductively.

Lucas winces at her desperation and takes a step away. Her perfume is making him nauseous. Did she bathe in it?

"I don't think so."

She pulls a childish pout with a click of her tongue. "Aw, why not?"

Before Lucas can respond, someone else has joined them unbeknownst them, and answers for him.

"Because his wife will kick your scrawny ass if you ever touch him again."

They both turn in surprise to see Peyton standing there with a hand on her hip and her eyebrows raised high, daring the other woman to respond. She is the image of classic perfection in her shimmering midnight blue dress. Her blonde waves cascade over her bare shoulders and those perfect lips are down turned in a perfect scowl as her smoky green eyes narrow as a threat.

Lucas has to make a quick decision – set the cup down in case a catfight breaks out or take another generous gulp of his drink to reintroduce moisture in his suddenly dry mouth.

It's torture, really. She looks so painfully gorgeous in that dress that has _definitely_ received the Lucas Scott Nod of Approval, and he didn't hesitate for a second to show her off every chance he got since they had arrived together. Something this _Samantha girl_ would have noticed if she was paying attention earlier…

x0x0x0x0x

_(Months ago, back in the airport)_

"_Come with me," he mumbles into her hair._

_Peyton pulls away from their embrace and looks at him like he's crazy._

"_What?"_

"_Come with me to New York," his eyes are wide with excitement. "I'm pretty sure I just missed my flight and I'd have to take the next one anyway."_

"_But, Benny…" she shakes her head._

"_Is with Nathan and Haley?" It's a statement and a question at the same time. Peyton nods her head in confirmation and he smiles. "Benny will be fine for a day or two. Come with me, Peyton."_

"_Luke, I can't! I-I don't have any bags or a change of clothes," she looks down, her eyes widening in horror at her large sweatshirt and ripped jeans. "I'm a mess! And there's work-"_

"_Please."_

_His pleading blue eyes melt away at her hesitance and he squeezes her hands. And she's just so tired of being away from him._

"_Okay."_

_x0x0x0x0x_

"_You did __**not **__just do that!" Peyton hisses at Lucas in disbelief. All he can do is laugh heartily as he leads her out of the building by the hand. He pulls her to the side so they're not disturbing the flow of traffic on the busy sidewalk._

"_I did," he grins down at her wide eyes and her mouth is still hanging agape._

"_**Luke**! You just walked in there and **personally** turned down the offer you just accepted over a week ago! Are you insane?! You look like such a jackass now!"_

_Her eyes grow impossibly larger when he laughs and her cheeks flare up. What is with him?!_

"_Peyton, I told them the truth. I have a marriage to work on and a family to take care of back home, I can't be here full time."_

"_But, Luke-"_

"_No buts," he kisses the tip of her nose, "Come on. I have something to show you."_

_She doesn't even get a word in and he's already pulling her into the crowd of bustling New Yorkers._

_x0x0x0x0x_

"_Wow," she breaths._

"_You like it?"_

_Peyton briefly turns to give Lucas an 'Are you really asking me that?' look before turning back to survey the spacious condo. The view is the most appealing part of it all, though. Yes, the living space is fully furnished and tastefully so, but the view of the city is simply breathtaking._

"_Come're," he mumbles, taking her hand and leading her into one of the rooms._

_They seem to standing in the master bedroom, with its very own view of the city's lights and Peyton shakes her head in astonishment._

"_And there's another bedroom – smaller and without this view, but I thought that would've been perfect for Ben; If he wanted to come spend time with me, that is," Lucas chuckles uneasily._

"_This is where you are staying?" She asks while turning to finally face him. "Well, where you **were** staying." She gives him a look._

"_We can still stay here," he chances nervously._

"_We?"_

"_We," he nods his head. "I-I'm still turning down the office and coming home. But," he closes the gap between them and he places his hands on her hips, "when I have to come into the city, whenever its required for me to come down here, you and Benny can come with me."_

_She looks away, choosing to look out the window as she places her hands lightly on his strong forearms. "I-I don't know, Luke…"_

"_Think about it," his voice drops to a seductive tone as he slowly guides her backwards. "It doesn't happen that often, but it would be a really nice family getaway. We'll have our own place to stay and," the back of Peyton's knees connect with the foot of the bed, causing her to look back at him as her back meets the mattress and he follows, "it comes with a **gorgeous** view."_

_Her heart races and she swallows heavily at his close proximity. He's got a hopeful grin and he's looking at her in a way that has her blushing immediately. Lucas doesn't even realize what he's doing, it's like he's in a trance, and his hand slowly, gently moves up from her hip. He's pushing her sweatshirt and tee shirt up and his fingertips caress the soft skin as it inches up her side._

"_Lucas," she blinks rapidly and her voice shakes. "I-I," she sucks in a breath when he leans in, "I can't."_

_He freezes and he sees tears well in her eyes. He panics._

"_Hey, no no no. Don't cry," he coos. "It's alright, I can sell it. We don't have-"_

"_No, it's not that," she blinks away her tears and she tries her best to smile up at him. "It's, it's a great idea. I love it. It's really sweet of you, actually."_

_He smiles._

"_But I mean **this**. I can't do this," she says weakly but he still doesn't understand. "You, you were with another woman and I know you didn't **sleep** with her but I, I can't—I don't. I can't get it out of my head," she huffs in frustration, "I'm not making any sense right now because last week we, we already…and I'm giving you mixed signals…"_

_And then he finally understands what she's trying to say._

"_It doesn't erase what I've done," he repeats her words gently and she nods slowly. "You're not ready for us to be intimate."_

"_I'm sorry," she sniffles._

"_No, don't be," the hand at her side moves to brush her hair away from her face and he smiles understandingly. "If you need time, then I'll give you time. I'll give you whatever you need, Peyt, I'll do whatever it takes to fix this."_

_A tear trails her porcelain skin and his thumb brushes it away, making her smile._

"_Thank you," she breaths._

_He gives her one of his lazy grins before moving to sit up and pulling her with him. He immediately wraps her up in his arms, placing a sweet kiss on her forehead and she clings to him._

_It was a start. He was going to fix things and he was going to regain her trust. She was starting to forgive him._

_x0x0x0x0x_

Right now, Lucas is hoping all the progress he's made with Peyton and his son won't be all lost in a split second thanks to Samantha's unwanted presence. Setting his drink down outweighs his two options and he clears his throat as he brushes past Samantha. He smiles at his wife and she, thankfully, locks eyes with him and smiles back when he leans into give her a quick peck on the lips.

"Well aren't you two just adorable," Samantha deadpans as she crosses her arms. Then a devilish smirk pulls at her ruby red lips. "You know, I didn't force him to do _anything_."

Peyton's eyes harden once more and Lucas pulls her into his side.

"Samantha, that's _enough_," he growls but he feels Peyton pushing the arm he has around her and his heart drops.

"No, Lucas, it looks like she has something to say and I'm dying to hear it," Peyton grins as she takes two steps closer to the red head. "I've got a thing or two to say right back, but _go ahead_. Slut first."

"Wow, she's a feisty one, Luke," Samantha revels in the way Peyton frowns at the shortened version of her husband's name. "She must not be all that daring _elsewhere_, though, if her own husband so _willingly_ seeks outside offers for _relief_."

"Stop it, Samantha, you know that's not what happened!" Lucas snaps.

The red head smiles in her triumph, "It's alright, Lucas. It doesn't matter anymore, I just can't believe she'd take your sorry ass back after—"

"Is it my turn?" Peyton cuts her off stiffly. Samantha raises an eyebrow and waves her hand for Peyton to continue. She hasn't even started, but Peyton feels a strange sense of excitement spread through her. She's been waiting for this moment ever since Lucas made his confession.

"First of all, _Samantha_, he was drunk. While that doesn't excuse him, I'd hardly call an inebriated man that is missing his _wife_ a willing participant when a slut like you makes a move on him. Second, whether or not I have forgiven him and took him back is none of your concern. There's something called vows, but that obviously doesn't mean anything to you since you so _willingly_ and _knowingly_ went after a married man. Which brings me to my last point: You're right, _it doesn't matter anymore_. You are as irrelevant as the dirt stuck on the bottom of my shoe and you can see your way out of our lives."

Lucas is standing there, wide eyed and looking between his wife's defiant stance and Samantha's seemingly unphased expression.

"That's nice," Samantha smiles mockingly. "Though, are you sure I'm irrelevant? How could you be so sure that Lucas here won't have another moment of weakness? Hm?"

Peyton shrugs, "I don't." That evil smirk on Samantha's face returns. "I guess I just have to trust him."

"Good luck with that," the red head looks at Lucas with a seductive glint in her eye and he shakes his head in disgust.

"I'll tell you what I _am _sure of, Samantha." Peyton is now in her face when the girl looks back. She rears back, incredibly intimidated by the close proximity of Peyton's towering frame. "Lucas is a leg man. And those short stumps you've got there just won't do. I _guarantee_ what you're working with does absolutely nothing for him. You were, in fact, a drunken _mistake._"

Samantha's jaw drops as Peyton turns to reach for Lucas' hand and starts to lead him away from the bar. He's trailing behind her, and with one look back, Peyton sees her husband doing exactly as she expected him to do. His eyes are glued to her long legs in that mid-thigh length dress she's wearing, so her gaze falls back on Samantha still standing at the bar and raises her brow in a 'Told you so' kind of way.

Lucas takes her off guard when he tugs her in a different direction and pushes her into a dimly lit corner of the room that is conveniently hidden behind a pillar.

"That was so hot," he husks in her ear as he corners her with his hands on her hips and his body pressing into hers.

"You're not mad?" She barely gets the question out before Lucas' lips crash onto hers with a moan.

Her thin fingers grip the lapels of his sports jacket and he squeezes her hips a little tighter. Their kisses become more heated and Peyton's leg wraps around one of his, just enough so that her foot's slow venture up his calf also causes her thigh to rub against him. Lucas has to break their kiss, dropping his face to her collar to groan at the friction his wife's leg is creating. The hand at her hip follows the full curve of her hip and backside before settling on that torturous thigh of hers. She may have shapely legs, but the size of Lucas' hand has such an advantage that the curling length of his fingers around her thigh are close enough to her core, causing her green eyes to fall shut with a breathy sigh. Through their lustful haze, Lucas pulls away from her collar bone and rests his forehead against hers with a lazy grin.

"Of course I'm not mad," he pants. "That was seriously hot. It's so much better when I'm not in the receiving end of your path of fury."

"Shut up," she flushes with a playful smack to his chest and then she looks up at him questioningly. "You seriously get off on that?"

He smirks. "I still pursued you when you were being mean to me our junior year, didn't I?"

"You're so weird," she sighs.

The moment becomes somber. Her fingers are threading through the short hairs at the back of his neck and he lets go of her leg so she can gently set it back on the floor. They're looking into each others' eyes, but the serious look on his face worries her.

"Hey," she traces his jaw. "What's wrong?"

"I'm sorry," he shakes his head. "I didn't know. She wasn't supposed to be here."

Peyton sighs with a shrug, "S'okay. Look at it this way: I finally got to say what I wanted to say and put her in her place. It's obviously a game to her and she didn't win," she smiles at him, "because we're together."

He grins at her, and then their lips fuse together in a sweet kiss.

x0x0x0x0x

"Did you tell Brooke we're on our way?" Lucas asks once they're on the road.

His right hand caresses her left, his thumb running over her wedding band over and over again, while he steers with his left. A mischievous grin forms on Peyton's lips as she looks over at him. He doesn't look over just yet, since he's paying attention to the road, and a wicked plan forms in her mind.

"Oh I don't know, I think Benny wouldn't mind spending a little more time with his Aunt Brooke," she says in a sing-song tone.

Lucas finally chances a confused glance her way before looking back to the road, "We're not picking him up?"

"Nuh uh."

Peyton adjusts her seatbelt as she leans in and her right hand falls to his inner thigh, strategically placing it dangerously close to his groin. He jumps in surprise and the car swerves a bit. His eyes are quick to catch that seductive look in her eyes.

"You mean…?"

"Mhm," she hums. "Momma wants some alone time with Daddy."

He sucks in a generous breath and his heart hammers in his chest with such anticipation that he thinks it might explode. He may have increased the car's speed by just a tad, too.

* * *

The sun's bright rays makes it such a difficult task to open her eyes after last night's activitys, but she hears Lucas' quiet voice speaking to someone. So she blinks them open anyway.

"Did you have fun, Buddy?"

She can practically hear the smile on his face and she already knows who he's talking to. Holding the bed sheet to her naked body, Peyton turns in bed to face the gorgeous morning view from their New York condo window. Lucas is standing there, bare-chested, just in his boxers with a smile on his face and his cell phone to his ear. That man standing there in the glow of early morning light is really what makes the sight breathtaking and Peyton sighs in content.

"What do you mean you missed me? You just saw me yesterday afternoon," Lucas chuckles into the phone, still not noticing his stirring wife. Lucas suddenly stops pacing, like something was said on the other side that caught him off guard, and he finally catches his wife's eye.

He smiles broadly at her.

"I love you too, Benny. So very much," he breathes into the mouthpiece, but holding eye contact with his wife as he says it. "Thank you."

**THE END**


End file.
